Tag Archive: Cj beamish


what i need today

the night
– is calls with out question
alas
-it seems so absurd
the thoughts
-wonder past recognition
until,
-these visions that conspire
can longer described by mere words

I’m lost in a place with out pleasure
I’m lost in a place with out pain
I’m lost In the place past desire
in the back of my brain

what I want…
I can not place words on
what I want…
I do not know what to say
what I… need
to know where I got these chains from
if only to convince my self I don’t need them today

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the lies of wounder land

I should of ran away when I had the time
now I’m lost in your looking glass eyes
slipping down your rabbit hole
watching your childish chaos unfold
just your play thing
as the world goes awry
now I’m late and you wonder why

Your Cheshire cat grin
only more proof of how far I’v slipped into – your twisted wonderland

How much more can I stand
before I no longer resemble a man
-just your little white rabbit –looked inside a cage
all dressed up and ready for your stage
There’s a rip in my reality I cannot mend
as I watch , the way you pretend …to be just a child lost in this land
making us all your play things we’re growing mad
“eat me “, “drink me”
growing mad
shrinking away from what I am
just your Tweadle dumm dum dum –
or your tweadle dea, – growing MAD- time for tea
ship wrecked in the walruses sea

Left as only your white rabbit caught by the ears
how much longer can we go dancing with our fears
Oh! what have you done with the queen of my hearts?
ran away with all the t(h)arts
Leaving me as nothing then the jack of scares

You really fooled us all
just a child having a ball
its realy to late
but now we see
we’ve lost our minds, what’s left of our heads?
– we’re losing our heads, off with our heads

Making us look so mad
because you couldn’t seem to understand
oh how your reflection has shifted at last
Alice … you’er driving us all mad
 please leave our wonderland

but is it too late… alas …alas
a tower of cards – dismembered in a foreign land

feminine flaw

For all those involved
you know what’s been done
you know of the dark
of the things we’ve become

If you hurt me
who is to blame
isn’t that the question
left in our way

The people before us
say it’s the feminine demise
like we draw out the poison
in an older man’s mind

Like are words are a candy
filled with a taint
and what they choose to do
we brought our way

But the people are saying
from ear to ear
in a movement of whispers
that we didn’t bring our selves here

That the shape of our body’s
or how the fabric plays at our skin
that your deeds should not be our damnation
because you forced yourself in

Because kindness most tender
because of our lack of battle field walls
 should not be considered a crime
it’s your turn to be made small

To feel the weakness
we feel each day
knowing no matter how hard we fight
were small and tender – but u shouldn’t be allowed to have your way

inside the beast

there’s demons in my soul
that bring up the worst solutions 
faith begins to lose its face
as they twist into a new conclusion

they are but the beast of mine 
for i should see the signs 
when they rattle bars so fine
inside the recluse of my mind

should i not see through the screen –
what the shadows really mean 
but not the way they become reshaped 
by a distortion of the lights beam

as they turn a harmless situation
into  places where logic has lost any consideration 
as suspicion becomes my foundation 
as the beasts tug as me

you take bitter words
from battered young lungs
refrain –
and re-frame
from what you’ve become
massacred moments
of what was your past
tainted old feelings that die with the last
of hopes
and off dreams
when all you had left was your will to breath

windows to a soul that can no longer bleed
blinded old eyes
defining a new term for needs

memories of lost souls
and what needed done
when your freedom to live
is the only one thing –
that cant be undone

breath with me
see with me who i once was
and rise with me
try with
the phoenix iv become

rise with me
try with me
from the ashes i come

cj beamish

 

The words that she speaks
Came from the same language
as yours
But you’ll shroud her in shame
For what’s hers that’s not the same as what’s yours

For the things that she does
Brings fear to your brain?
Could that be that your week
No?
It’s her fault that she’s strange ?

Is it the sex
Or the shape
The colour that takes place
On her skin
That she’s thin?
Oh it’s a sin
To not be the same?

People died for this
Tried for this
Put all of the them selves
in front of real and proverbial trains
To be free
To see an equal day

So your bigger?
So your better?
So finally put together?
So it’s your right to say
Who’s who and who’s loves aloud to be sanctioned for forever

Like hitler
You slander
It’s not the same?
But didn’t you say you were better?
Because of race?
Because of sex?
Oh they just need to meet YOUR simple standards?

It’s just just jokes now?
You find humour?
In the purposed genocide of others
Simply because he found
Love for another ?

The past
Did it not teach you?
Starving Auschwitz victims
Didn’t reach you?

You find humour?
In hate symbols
Do you claim-
to be an individual

HATE FOR HATES SAKE IS CONFORMITIES/SLAVERYS SYMBOL

Fantoms

I don’t want to write –

Of pure rage
Of love
And hate
And under shame

I want to forget -the cry out
The battle pains
But my past
it Shows how the monsters rained

From silver lined clouds
Made of cold steal
The thunder heads
of gun powder made real
The molten streets
rain brimstone pearls
As my mind finds cliffs
For my thoughts to be hurtled
The loves long gone,
There they still hang on
No mater how wrong

Like barbs
That scar
They dig in deep
And carry on
Making my insanity weep

It’s only utter peace that I seek
Freedom from the fantoms
That sin… So deep

for every hand that could not find
the pen to write between the lines
we’re done with what was left behind
so join us ones again

there so many diffrent scares
that mard their lips
and staind their hearts
and still we only ask for them to take small reflection

remember who we were before
remember the slaming of the door
remember the red between the lines
all the words that couldnt be denied
because they never went forgiven
the cost is far to much
– for our hearts
– to leave alive

if i were to fall just ones
for the master of the braking tuch
would it be worth it
tell me would it be worth it at all
if we were to just let our selves fall

If I were just a star

Life less in the sky
One in a billion
At least they would marvel at how I shine
And if I were a leaf
Predestined to fade
Or fall away early
They would still watch how the wind made me play
And what is this skin
This shell of meek flesh
These bones made to brake
These innards a mess
Made of a kind
Who make art out of war
Just a face in a crowd
Never much more
If my body could part
To let thunder in
Would I be more
Or still just a discarded remnant
Of the world of men

For the lady

Lady lady of the night
Who chose the black
Above the light
Who took your heart
Who tore your skin
Who left such scars
Till none could come in
As your hair – falls from your eyes
Could what we see
Be but shadows – left behind
The ones who made
Knives Out of your tongue
Is this what – the worlds done
For these streets – are cold and bare
We will not find
the answers here
As we look – to the past
A broken glass road – without a chance
For all you lost
Still fighting to gain
In the night
With blood read stars
you continue play