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They always told us what to fear
They alway reminded us who was in charge
They alway showed us the men in the dark
People who miss use power
Something sharp
The wrath of god
An angry mob
They always told me what to fear
But they never told me to fear myself

They told me some people go insane
Some times things get twisted in the brain
That some times men see monsters from there mind
But unless your seeing things that aren’t there
Or hearing voices in your head your just fine
They always told me when to be scared
But they never talked about being scared of my self

They said she was weak when she died
That she couldn’t handle
All things we all have in life
That she found it a battle
the things we all have on mind
That she turned her back to the good in her life
They talked about what it meant to be weak
But they never spoke about the strength of the pain in the mind

They always talked about the dirtiness of self pity
About how you would lose respect
If you didn’t wrap it up quickly
They always told us the sin of suicide
The damage that’s left
The mess you’d leave behind
They never spoke of the unrelenting pain of the mind

They always told me how to deal with wicked people
They never told me how to deal with the wicked thing inside myself
They only ever said be good. Keep your mouth shut. And keep your hands to your self
No one ever told me what to do with the part of me that was hurting myself

They always told me what to be afraid of
No one ever warned me about my self

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We fall in love with it
The pain inside our head
Obsessing until it becomes part of us
Like a sacrifice to god we love because we fear him ,
Creating the mass epidemic
Of depression and false longing that seems to consume us all

We no longer live in the moment
We capture it on a screen to save it for later
Store it away
For it to grow stale
So maybe some one else can verify it for us
To acknowledge it’s existence

Feeling
Hope less?
Anxious?
With out verification
Trying to find the meaning of life as if it was something more then just living
Just as our hearts desperately beat only to be able to beat again over and over
with out stoping until it can’t can’t anymore
Why can’t we just live like that
Every day
Over and over
To the best we can
So we are able to tomorrow
Over and over until we fiscally can’t any more
Like the heart

the deep seas churning round and round
the waters blurring all the sound
Do I slip beneath the lips
Of the beast
Do I let my soul release
From the bondage of the land

Do I taste the salt
Let the beasts blood wash away
The dirt that works between the bone
Causing the grinding pain

And as my madness echoes like the whispers of the sky
Twisting in to my ears
Echoes in the mind

I wonder what it would be like to be one with the waves and disappears in to the night

Lovers door

You were always jet black
Green eyes in the dark
Pale lips parted
openings to the heart
Lights Flout
Soft feathers
Hopes drift like ash
Dreams mocked with laughter
By your side
A faithful lover
The past will not stray
Your foolish monsters
Were the only thing that kept my beasts at bay
The winds
They twist strangeness in to faces
A twin that was not there before
Beware the lover
That stands beside you
Do not open the door

the lies of wounder land

I should of ran away when I had the time
now I’m lost in your looking glass eyes
slipping down your rabbit hole
watching your childish chaos unfold
just your play thing
as the world goes awry
now I’m late and you wonder why

Your Cheshire cat grin
only more proof of how far I’v slipped into – your twisted wonderland

How much more can I stand
before I no longer resemble a man
-just your little white rabbit –looked inside a cage
all dressed up and ready for your stage
There’s a rip in my reality I cannot mend
as I watch , the way you pretend …to be just a child lost in this land
making us all your play things we’re growing mad
“eat me “, “drink me”
growing mad
shrinking away from what I am
just your Tweadle dumm dum dum –
or your tweadle dea, – growing MAD- time for tea
ship wrecked in the walruses sea

Left as only your white rabbit caught by the ears
how much longer can we go dancing with our fears
Oh! what have you done with the queen of my hearts?
ran away with all the t(h)arts
Leaving me as nothing then the jack of scares

You really fooled us all
just a child having a ball
its realy to late
but now we see
we’ve lost our minds, what’s left of our heads?
– we’re losing our heads, off with our heads

Making us look so mad
because you couldn’t seem to understand
oh how your reflection has shifted at last
Alice … you’er driving us all mad
 please leave our wonderland

but is it too late… alas …alas
a tower of cards – dismembered in a foreign land

where is the man who use to call my name once
who’s twisted whispers played upon my ears
in between the lies – some where our love was crucified
on a cross of our fears

the night it plays with our memory
the darkness laces between my eyes
and somewhere in the distance
like a shimmer of the stars there is a vision
but just like the ancient star it is a ghosts light

once we stood clasped together like praying hands
our hearts wrapped together in a desperation  that could not be eased
but as the night grew cold
and hearts cooled from a jealous soul
in your hatred you became hypnotized –
and your pain could not be relieved

do you remember when i asked you not to let me go
do you remember when i whispered for you not to leave
but in the mists of  your betrayals , i parted through midnight vail
and headed for the sea
you never asked me not to go
as i faded did you see
how i hesitated,
in the motions of leaving i still waited
or could you not bring yourself to look to me

do you remember when you loved me
do you think of me as ghost
sometimes does our old love haunt you
does my phantom interrupt you  as you sleep
do you still love me when you dream

in time i have learned to love another
in time i have let our dreams fade away
the man who holds me he is as you were
unable to be tamed
but he does not look for his monster
he does not ever stray
he does not run he keeps me safe here
he keeps the pain away

i have learned to love another
the woman he knows is soft and kind
he does not see the monsters –
that swim in my souls waters
for that i owe,too love being blind

i let him believe he is the wild one
i let him not worry of what I’ve seen
and you would not recognize me
for our old ways iv left behind be
but they haunt me in my dreams

cold

were we lost in the endless motions
looking at the days like endless commotions
were we stuck in endless lines
only ever fighting to find the sines

was love only an excuse
to endure abuse was faith just put in place
to hide your other face

you tasted the blood
to drink away your sin
you kill your soul
in hopes that some of the daemons wont find their way in

these streets have grown so cold

empty sea

What churns the insides
like the arctic sea?
The ice shelves crashing
inside of me

When all should be coming
to an endless gleam
something comes running
to invade serenity

If you are a dove
to take me from the dark
I give you all my love
and it seems that’s just the start

You give me all you can
so what can this be
why are the still jutting cliffs
cutting in to me

Why does the vastness
still overwhelm my mind
when you are here to sooth away the lines
stay by my side

If your side I feel safe and calm
why is it that with only minuets alone
the whole world
goes wrong?

With your love so steady
to comfort me
why won’t the emptiness –
let me be

feminine flaw

For all those involved
you know what’s been done
you know of the dark
of the things we’ve become

If you hurt me
who is to blame
isn’t that the question
left in our way

The people before us
say it’s the feminine demise
like we draw out the poison
in an older man’s mind

Like are words are a candy
filled with a taint
and what they choose to do
we brought our way

But the people are saying
from ear to ear
in a movement of whispers
that we didn’t bring our selves here

That the shape of our body’s
or how the fabric plays at our skin
that your deeds should not be our damnation
because you forced yourself in

Because kindness most tender
because of our lack of battle field walls
 should not be considered a crime
it’s your turn to be made small

To feel the weakness
we feel each day
knowing no matter how hard we fight
were small and tender – but u shouldn’t be allowed to have your way

inside the beast

there’s demons in my soul
that bring up the worst solutions 
faith begins to lose its face
as they twist into a new conclusion

they are but the beast of mine 
for i should see the signs 
when they rattle bars so fine
inside the recluse of my mind

should i not see through the screen –
what the shadows really mean 
but not the way they become reshaped 
by a distortion of the lights beam

as they turn a harmless situation
into  places where logic has lost any consideration 
as suspicion becomes my foundation 
as the beasts tug as me