Category: change


I fell in love with it
Dissecting the past
Toying with the remains
like it meant something
Like I’d find something there
That would open up a view of luminescence dancing in my eyes
Like a final answer to the unvoiced
Untangible questions dancing behind my eyelids

Taking me away from the present leaving a comatose body
Glued to my sick bed
Nocked down and out of reality
By the hurtling impact of my own regrets
Disconnected from reality
Looking for the answers to the future
In what was already gone
Instead of the ripe budding fruit in front of me
Trapped in side my mind
Running on Fumes
When all I needed was to fill my tank with gasoline in front of me
To set flames to the past
Letting the vast cannons of doubt
Burn away


the deep seas churning round and round
the waters blurring all the sound
Do I slip beneath the lips
Of the beast
Do I let my soul release
From the bondage of the land

Do I taste the salt
Let the beasts blood wash away
The dirt that works between the bone
Causing the grinding pain

And as my madness echoes like the whispers of the sky
Twisting in to my ears
Echoes in the mind

I wonder what it would be like to be one with the waves and disappears in to the night

Lovers door

You were always jet black
Green eyes in the dark
Pale lips parted
openings to the heart
Lights Flout
Soft feathers
Hopes drift like ash
Dreams mocked with laughter
By your side
A faithful lover
The past will not stray
Your foolish monsters
Were the only thing that kept my beasts at bay
The winds
They twist strangeness in to faces
A twin that was not there before
Beware the lover
That stands beside you
Do not open the door

where is the man who use to call my name once
who’s twisted whispers played upon my ears
in between the lies – some where our love was crucified
on a cross of our fears

the night it plays with our memory
the darkness laces between my eyes
and somewhere in the distance
like a shimmer of the stars there is a vision
but just like the ancient star it is a ghosts light

once we stood clasped together like praying hands
our hearts wrapped together in a desperation  that could not be eased
but as the night grew cold
and hearts cooled from a jealous soul
in your hatred you became hypnotized –
and your pain could not be relieved

do you remember when i asked you not to let me go
do you remember when i whispered for you not to leave
but in the mists of  your betrayals , i parted through midnight vail
and headed for the sea
you never asked me not to go
as i faded did you see
how i hesitated,
in the motions of leaving i still waited
or could you not bring yourself to look to me

do you remember when you loved me
do you think of me as ghost
sometimes does our old love haunt you
does my phantom interrupt you  as you sleep
do you still love me when you dream

in time i have learned to love another
in time i have let our dreams fade away
the man who holds me he is as you were
unable to be tamed
but he does not look for his monster
he does not ever stray
he does not run he keeps me safe here
he keeps the pain away

i have learned to love another
the woman he knows is soft and kind
he does not see the monsters –
that swim in my souls waters
for that i owe,too love being blind

i let him believe he is the wild one
i let him not worry of what I’ve seen
and you would not recognize me
for our old ways iv left behind be
but they haunt me in my dreams

I came to rest within your depths
the thought of hope my great temptation
but when handed it to you, the more then my all
this came to be my great damnation
and you say to me you use to be an honest soul just as i
but they hurt you deep they let the pain seep
until every breath was a lie

You use the words to repute
that it was by no miss deed you disrupted me
but saying that by them changing you
you have right to take my trust
and thrust it
as far as you can from me
I was to week ,
painfully week and you claim I needed disrupting

But by my broken heart
as it stops and it starts
I will not be like you

For it takes a selfish soul
who only thinks of themselves alone
to never give
but promise love
and to blame the other
for giving love
for having such passion in the happiness of another

A broken heart
can be made hard
but it’s a selfish soul
to think of their pain alone
to blame the one they hurt for even coming

I was born again
My friend
From an egg inside my soul

With out a peace
Or a promise
To make me hole

It made little seance to carry on
So I let it all go
I died

But revived
Maybe I can find home

For my self
Before I move on
I must leave you
– my past a lingering ghost
I must go
Don’t you know
This time I must walk this road alone

you take bitter words
from battered young lungs
refrain –
and re-frame
from what you’ve become
massacred moments
of what was your past
tainted old feelings that die with the last
of hopes
and off dreams
when all you had left was your will to breath

windows to a soul that can no longer bleed
blinded old eyes
defining a new term for needs

memories of lost souls
and what needed done
when your freedom to live
is the only one thing –
that cant be undone

breath with me
see with me who i once was
and rise with me
try with
the phoenix iv become

rise with me
try with me
from the ashes i come

cj beamish


The words that she speaks
Came from the same language
as yours
But you’ll shroud her in shame
For what’s hers that’s not the same as what’s yours

For the things that she does
Brings fear to your brain?
Could that be that your week
It’s her fault that she’s strange ?

Is it the sex
Or the shape
The colour that takes place
On her skin
That she’s thin?
Oh it’s a sin
To not be the same?

People died for this
Tried for this
Put all of the them selves
in front of real and proverbial trains
To be free
To see an equal day

So your bigger?
So your better?
So finally put together?
So it’s your right to say
Who’s who and who’s loves aloud to be sanctioned for forever

Like hitler
You slander
It’s not the same?
But didn’t you say you were better?
Because of race?
Because of sex?
Oh they just need to meet YOUR simple standards?

It’s just just jokes now?
You find humour?
In the purposed genocide of others
Simply because he found
Love for another ?

The past
Did it not teach you?
Starving Auschwitz victims
Didn’t reach you?

You find humour?
In hate symbols
Do you claim-
to be an individual